Teaching in China

We are teaching an 8-week course entitled, Practical Oral English, at Xi’an Jiaotong University.  As a final project, we have the students give a 5-minute presentation called, “Who are my ancestors?”  The students are to give a family story about their grandparents or older. It is one of the highlights of our time spent in China, listening to their stories. 

There were two stories that were especially impactful to me that I would like to share: 

The first story as told by Jean:

"Hello everyone. Today I want to share a story from my family. It's not a happy story, but it's an important one. It's about my great-great-grandmother — my grandfather's grandmother. And it's about her feet. My title is "Tiny Feet, Heavy History." This is not just a story about feet. It's a story about sacrifice, survival, and the silent strength of the women who came before me."

Slide 2:

My grandma told me a harsh rule from the old days. In her time, a woman's worth was measured by the size of her feet. This was called foot binding. If a girl had small feet, she could marry into a good family. If she had natural, big feet, she would have to work in the fields all her life. No one would want to marry her. It was never about beauty. It was a painful ticket to survival. Women had no choice. They had to do this to have a future.

Slide 3:

"In today's world, we buy sneakers for comfort and running. But for my great-great-grandmother, her shoes were only three inches long — not by choice, but by a tradition that broke her bones.

My great-great-grandmother was only seven years old when they started to bind her feet. Her bones were still soft. They bent her toes under her feet. Then they wrapped them with long, tight cloth. It was not done just one time. They wrapped it. Loosened it. Wrapped it again, even tighter. Again and again. Until the bones broke and the shape became forever. She was in so much pain. She could barely walk.

But even with bound feet, she had to work. She cooked, she cleaned, she raised her children. She held the family together. Her feet were bound. But her will was never bound. She was strong.

Slide 4:

One generation later, things began to change. This is about my great-grandmother. She was also brought to the binding cloth. The old tradition was still there. They wrapped her feet once.

But then, something different happened. The cloth came off. And it never went back on. Maybe someone said, "No." Maybe someone said, "Enough. "We don't know who did it. But her feet were set free. She was the first woman in my family whose feet were allowed to grow. That one small moment changed everything.

Slide 5: 结语与我的脚步 (Conclusion: The Road I Walk On)

Today, I stand here with my feet flat on the ground, wearing shoes I chose myself. I walk to school, I run for fun, and I choose my own path. Every step I take freely is a gift from her. 

She ended her presentation with, “Today I stand here with my feet flat on the ground, wearing shoes I chose myself.  I walk to school.  I run for fun and I choose my own path. Every step I take freely is a gift from her.”  The week before Jean gave this presentation, the university held a sports day which we attended.  We were privileged to watch Jean run and take second place, which made her presentation the next week even more powerful to me.

The second story is from Black.  

Black is 2nd from the left

Opening & Family Introduction (Focusing on the photo)

"Hello everyone, I’m Black. It is a true privilege to stand here today and share the story of my ancestors with you.

2. Introducing the Protagonist (Grandmother/姥姥)

"But the true beating heart of this story is my Grandma. Born in 1949, the very dawn of a new era for China, she was, on the surface, just an ordinary woman from a rural village in the Northeast. Over her lifetime, she raised two sons and one daughter, and today she has reached the venerable age of seventy-seven. She is the embodiment of simple, unyielding labor, a master of multiple traditional crafts—from delicate paper-cutting to creating endless varieties of wheaten delicacies. Yet, looking at this peaceful elder today, one would never guess the turbulent twists of fate that marked her youth."

3. The Adoption & The Superstition

"From her earliest childhood, she was raised in a foster home. Her adoptive mother was actually her birth mother's cousin. The central dilemma facing her new parents was one of profound heartbreak: they had been married for years but were unable to conceive children. In their utter desperation, consumed by worry, they turned to a fortune teller for a solution. The fortune teller gave them an answer rooted deeply in old-world superstition: he claimed they must adopt a young girl from a close relative, and simultaneously shrine a painting of Guanyin, the Giver of Children, in the side wing of their house. Only then would their troubles be resolved. It was under these strange, heavy expectations that my grandmother entered this new family."

4. Fate, Miracle, and True Kinship

"However, in a shocking twist of fate, events unfolded exactly as the fortune teller had predicted. Barely two years after my grandmother was adopted into the family, a true miracle occurred: her adoptive parents gave birth to their first daughter, followed quickly by two sons. Just as this photo shows: here is her adoptive mother; here is my grandmother's younger sister; and here are her older and younger brothers. The latter three were all the biological children of the couple. After my grandmother married my grandfather, she moved to our county town to build her life, yet she never, for a moment, lost touch with these relatives. The bonds between them remained stronger than blood itself. In that household, she was never discriminated against or treated as less than a biological daughter; rather, her adoptive parents held a deep, lifelong gratitude toward her, believing she was the good luck charm that truly completed their family."

5. Lessons and Insights (The Conclusion)

"This story offers us profound insights to carry forward. First, it reminds us of the overwhelming power feudal superstitions once held in old society. Particularly in my hometown’s rural Northeast, people truly believed they had to 'believe just in case,' and their entire lives were steered by these beliefs. Second, and perhaps most importantly, we learn that while blood ties may provide a legal basis for things like inheritance, it is the invisible, unbreakable family bonds—the deepest emotional connections—that truly bind people together. We must cherish the relatives we have right now. Keep in touch with them often. And most of all, use your precious holidays to give your family the greatest gift of all: your presence and your companionship."